Land of Truths and Dares
by Sabertoothshadow
Summary: Come Torment the Characters! Yeah, I know its over done, but its still fun :P So yeah, ask any of the characters anything. Don't like, don't click. Its really that simple, DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HOMESTUCK NOR ITS CHARACTERS I AM NOT HUSSIE i wish I was. Not updating any time soon. Sorry guys! Don't have the time!
1. Chapter 1

_**Suddenly you are teleported to a world know as Land of Truths and Dares where the weather changes to a certain persons desires. Said person waves to you from the porch of a large castle. It obviously has to many rooms for hereto be planning to stay alone, you can tell even from the outside. It seems to be made of cobblestone. The porch is a light timber and surrounded by a green, flowery field. In the distance you can see mountains and to a different side there seems to be a forest. A different side shows a lake with a pier and a row boat. To the east is a desert field and cave a little past that, all of the four places seen from the house, whilst they are still far away from each other. The girl on the porch greets you**_** gladly.**

GIRL: Hello! Welcome to LoTaD! Here you can torment- I mean truth or dare the Homestuck characters because I'm bored and this looks like fun! So lets go welcome them shall we? I can alchemize anyone who is not alchemized already if need be, but for now.

_The girl walks into the house which looks very pleasant and even larger from the inside. She less you down a hall and into a room at the back which is empty minus the alchemizer in the centre. She clicks a few buttons and one by one 12 trolls and 8 humans appearafy in the room, despite this girls bad spelling._

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?! WHERE THE FUCK AM I?!

GIRL: Your on in the Land of Truths and Dares!

ROSE: This mean we are in your fan-fiction I assume.

GIRL: Yup!

ROSE: Do you not think that Truth or Dare is a little over done?

GIRL: ...maaaaaaaybe

JOHN: so we're here to play a huge game of truth or dare? why?

GIRL: Hehe, no no silly.

GIRL: Your hear to answer the truths and dares of all your fans!

JAKE: We have fans?

GIRL: yep!

DAVE: naturally a strider has fans, i get why you guys have fans though

JADE: hehe, maybe this just means we're as cool as striders! :D

DIRK: Nop, not possible.

DAVE: more likely that everyone else is insane.

GIRL: Well, if thats not cocky I don't know what is.

ERIDAN: wwhat the fuck is truth or dare?

KANAYA: I Do Believe It Is Like Our Game Lie Or Fight

GIRL: Lie or fight? Laaaaaaame~

VRISKA: What? You only used 7 'a's! Why didn't you use just one more to make it a perfect 8?!

GIRL: Cause I'm awesome.

SOLLUX: thii2 ii2 fuckiing 2tupiid

GIRL: Yep!

KARKAT: IS NO ONE FUCKING LISTENING TO MY RANTING OR SOMETHING!?

GIRL: Yeah, I just tuned you out.

JOHN: hehehe

KARKAT: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE

GIRL: That isn't my name fuckass :P

Feferi: w)(at is your nam-E than?

GIRL: its top secret!

JOHN: well nice to meet you top secret!

DAVE: ...no john just

DAVE: no

GIRL: hehe, you can call me Kailie though, even if its not my name!

KARKAT: WHO THE FUCK IS KAILIE

'KAILIE': hehehe, you'll never know

KAILIE: Okay guys! Lets get this show on the road!

KAILIE: Please send your most tormenting and embarrassing truth or dares EVER to make this more enjoyable!

EQUIUS: D- Nepeta, I do believe we should not be involved in this.

NEPETA: :33 *ac pouts at her moirail* aww, purrtty please equius?

JANE: I must admit... i'm not to sure about this either.

ROXY: awww, coem on janeeeyyy

ROXY: lif a lite

ROXY: *little

TAVROS: bUT,,, uHHH IS IT REALLY OKAY TO PLAY?

GAMZEE: CoMe On TaVbRo LeTs GiVe ThIs MoThErFuCkInG gAmE a MoThErFuCkInG cHaNcE

TAVROS: w-WELL,,, oKAY I GUESS,,, i MEAN IF YOUR UHHH SURE

KAILIE: Thats the spirt!

KARKAT: DO MY FUCKING RANTS JUST NOT MAKE IT TO THIS STUPID FUCKING STORY!?

KAILIE: Nop~! ^u^

KAILIE: oh yeah, almost forgot!

KAILIE: shipping dares and truths so fucking allowed!

NEPETA: :33 *ac agrees that you can not furrget the shipping questions*

KAILIE: Aradia, do you want to say something?

ARADIA: well, i supp0se i sh0uld, this is a lovely h0use

KAILIE: why thank you!

KAILIE: we shall all be living here!

KAILIE: I'll give you a tour!

_**And with that the chapter ends, while the author asks for reviews once more before starting the town, still refusing to write the rant Karkat has been set on. As she and the characters walk away you find yourself draw to the review button. What if you just... clicked it? Yes, you can click it, please click it.**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**The scene opens to a living room. With in this living room is a large television where an argument is going on for all those watching it. Kailie sits on the couch next to a couple cool kids checking her mail and sipping a coffee while trying to block out the argument on what movie is going to be watched.**_

**__**VRISKA: Oh come on guys! We HAVE to watch Con Air, it is simply the 8est movie there is!

JOHN: i agree with vriska!

JAKE: I must admit that it is not a bad movie, but we should watch avatar!

KARKAT: NO, IT IS A CRAPPY MOVIE AND I REFUSE TO WATCH THAT SHIT AGAIN

KAILIE: (hehehe)

DIRK: Why don't you all shut up and lets just watch MLP.

ROSE: *sigh*

KARKAT: I AM SURROUND BY FUCKING MORONS!

JANE: Can you please all stop talking?

ROXY: jaaaaaney, you shuls stay outta it

ROXY: *should

ROSE: Yes, I do believe that is the best action to do.

SOLLUX: we 2hould ju2t watch a horror moviie

KARKAT: FUCK NO THATS ALMOST AS BAD!

ERIDAN: wwell wwe aren't wwatchin' one a your shitty romcoms

KARKAT: THERE ARE NOT FUCKING SHITTY!

KAILIE: Okay, as entertaining as all of your stupidity is,

KARKAT: THERE THE FUCKING STUPID ONES!

KAILIE: whatever, as entertaining as it is, this is probably the best time to bring in the first truths and dares.

ARADIA: well that was fast

KAILIE: Yes it was

JADE: we have some already? Yay!

NEPETA: :33 *ac can't wait to purrtake in this fun game!*

KAILIE: sorry nepeta, as cute and sweet as you are, I don't think there is one for you.

EQUIUS: D- Good, this will mean you won't be taking part in any foolishness.

NEPETA: :33 awww *ac is upset but is happy that her new furriend thinks she's cute*

KAILIE: hehe, yay!

KARKAT: CAN WE JUST GET THIS FUCKING STUPID SHIT OUT OF THE WAY?

KAILIE: oh! right! the dares!

DAVE: pfft, vantas is never going to be able to do that

KAILIE: hey! *steals computer back off dave* but yeah, your right hehe.

**From: addieXofXtheXrose**

**karkat, this one i for you, XP waht do you think of eridans "subtle" attempt  
to be in a quadrant with you? and i feel he is very promiscuous with his  
quadrants, all of them. Eridan, for you. manwhore. (and that is my question  
and review all in one)**

KAILIE: hehe, we have an erikat shipper i believe!

ROSE: I have read a few fan-fictions of that ship, it is very... interesting

KAILIE: yep! my first role-play was erikat!

ERIDAN: wwhat the fuck...?

KARKAT: OH FUCKING GOG PLEASE NO

NEPETA: :33 *ac is excited to hear of a fellow shipper!*

TEREZI: H33H33H33 TH4T SOUNDS 1NT3R3ST1ING

KAILIE: sorry i forgot you last chapter Rezi!

**curiouskat88:**

terezi: spend a full chapter avoiding anything red or strawberry or cherry or anything like that.

**john and jane: have a prank off that spans for four chapters with the author  
keeping score; lets see whos the better prankster!  
karkat: dont outwardly express your hatred or dislike for anything  
dave and dirk: discard wearing your glasses for a chapter  
jane: tell john that you are the heiress of the betty crocker company  
jake: find one movie you dont like, or at least try for one chapter  
karkat: spend the whole day watching con air with vriska on repeat after  
having to do the first dare  
vriska: do not do anything 8 related for a chapter  
sollux: have a swag off with dave  
roxy: do not drink any alcholol for a chapter  
everyone besides jane and john: bet whos gonna win the prank-off  
john: do the windy thing  
dirk: do not swear for a chapter and then have a rap-off with dave  
have fun everybody, he he he! ;)**

DAVE: egderps going to enjoy that one

KAILIE: Dave! stop looking at my computer! Fucking hell cool kid!

KAILIE: anyway~ the first truth is for Karkat.

KAILIE: you can't lie!

KARKAT: NO FUCKING DUH MORON

KAILIE: what are your thoughts on Eridans "subtle" attempt to be in a quadrant with you? the asker feels that he is very promiscuous with his  
quadrants, all of them.

KARKAT: SUBTLE?! HIS ATTEMPTS ARE ANYTHING BUT FUCKING SUBTLE! THEY ARE FUCKING ANNOYING TOO! I CAN'T BEL- HOLY FUCKING HELL ERIDAN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HOLDING THAT?!

_You look to Eridan who has apparently been holding a bucket with the cancer symbol on it. John and Kailie start laughing._

__ERIDAN: wwhat?

JOHN: i would start running if i were you!

ERIDAN: wwhy?

_John points to Karkat who is fuming and looks ready to kill. Eridan starts running._

__KAILIE: okay, as to your other truth dare thingy, i don't get it, so I'm skipping it! Sorry addieXofXtheXros

TEREZI: SHOULD SOM3ON3 STOP K4RKL3S?

GAMZEE: I mOtHeRfUcKiNg GoT iT mOtHeRfUcKiNg TeRbRo

_Gamzee lazily goes after Karkat and Eridan._

KAILIE: okay! This is a good one! John, Jane front and centre~!

JOHN: oh yay!

JANE: What is our truth or dare?

KAILIE: you've been dared to have a pranking war for the next 3 chapters!

JOHN: oh! yay! your gonna down nanna!

JANE: hohohoho, i do believe you are going to lose john!

KAILIE: yep! have fun I will keep score for you!

JOHN: can we prank anyone?

KAILIE: yep!

JANE: sorry in advance guys!

_There are lots of groans from the room. Karkat, Eridan and Gamzee return, Eridan sporting a very painful looking bruise._

KAILIE: oh shot, I forgot. Terezi, you have to stay anyway from anything cherry or strawberry. So no red at all for all of the next chapter!

TEREZI: WH4T?! I R3FUS3! TH4TS NOT POSS1BL3 TO DO!

KAILIE: if you do it you can lick Karkat's cheeks whenever he blushes for the rest of the chapter!

KARKAT: WHAT?!

TEREZI: OK4Y!

KARKAT: WHAT? DON'T I GET A FUCKING SAY IN THIS SHIT?!

TEREZI: NOP!

KAILIE: not at all!

_Grumbles are heard._

KAILIE: next is Karkat! You can't outwardly express your dislike or hate for anything or anyone!

KARKAT: WHAT?! NO!

KAILIE: are you going to be the only one who doesn't do the dare? their is a penalty.

KARKAT: I'LL FUCKING TAKE IT

KAILIE: you want to eat one of gamzee's pies than?

KARKAT: ...

KARKAT: I'LL DO THE FUCKING DARE!

KAILIE: yay!

DAVE: this is going to be fucking funny.

KAILIE: yep!

KAILIE: so's this!

_Kailie runs and quickly takes Dave and Dirk's shades from them. Both Striders freak a bit and Dave hides his eyes quickly._

DAVE: what the fuck?!

DIRK: Dude. Shades. Now!

KAILIE: your dare is that you can't wear your shades for the rest of the chapter!

DAVE: ...

DIRK: ...

DAVE: i already hate this game.

DIRK: Agreed.

KAILIE: Jane! Your turn!

JOHN: where is she?

ROXY: i'll gt er

ROXY: *her

_Roxy goes to get her and returns with Jane and a plate of cupcakes. _

JANE: John, would you like a cup cake? I made them myself!

JOHN: sure!

_John takes a cupcake and eats it. While Kailie whispers Jane's dare into her ear._

JOHN: yum! what type of cupcake is this?

JANE: a betty crocker one!

_John spits it out and serval of the people in the room start laughing._

JOHN: why did you make THAT?!

JANE: because I'm the heiress of course!

JOHN: ...

JOHN: ...

ROSE: I do believe you broke him.

JOHN: *mental breakdown*

JANE: oh shot, i was only pranking him by getting him to eat it, i know he hates it.

KAILIE: well, point one to Jane! Dave, can you please unbreak John?

DAVE: i can give it a shot.

KAILIE: now Jake, you have to find one movie you don't like. Or at least try. GO watch Karkat's movies.

KARKAT: WHAT?! MY MOVIES FUCKING RULE!

KAILIE: hehehe, well you won't be watching them, you have to watch Con Air.

KARKAT: FUCK NO I HA- ARGHHH, FUCK

KAILIE: hehehe

KARKAT: I GUESS I CAN FUCKING DEAL WITH IT IF I ONLY HAVE TO WATCH IT ONCE

KAILIE: nop, you have to watch it on repeat for the rest of the day with Vriska, locked in a room!

KARKAT: WHAT!?

JOHN: oh! can watch to!

VRISKA: Yes! I love this game!

KAILIE: you won't for long~

VRISKA: Why?

KAILIE: no more eights for the rest of the day~!

VRISKA: WH8T?!

KAILIE: no more eights~

KARKAT: THAT'LL NEVER LAST

TEREZI: 1TS 1MPOSS1BL3

VRISKA: Hmpf! I'll prove you 8oth wrong!

TEREZI: H33H33H33

VRISKA: Starting now!

KAILIE: okay, come on you two.

JOHN: hey! what about me?

_Kailie whispers something into John's ear before leading Vriska and Karkat off to a room, putting Con Air on repeat and locking them in. She than lends Jake to another room in which every movie ever created has been placed._

KAILIE: have fun trying to find a movie you don't like!

JAKE: I'll try!

_She then goes back to where everyone else is and claps her hands together. _

KAILIE: Okay guys! Almost done we still have a few more left though!

DAVE: dude, i'm gonna win this.

JADE: dave that doesn't make any sense!

KAILIE: STOP READING THE DARES! THATS MY JOB!

DAVE: i do it better

KAILIE: Do not!

DAVE: do

KAILIE: not

DAVE: do

KAILIE: not

KANAYA: Can We Please Just Move On.

KAILIE: Sollux! Come here for a minute!

SOLLUX: oh gog, thii2 ii2 goiing two be 2omethiing 2tupiid

DAVE: only if you suck at swag offs

KAILIE: fucking hell dave!

ARADIA: what is swag?

DAVE: its how cool you are.

JADE: dave is so gonna win!

KAILIE: am I just not needed or something? No one is letting me do my job!

DAVE: exactly

ROSE: I do apologize on behalf of everybody.

JOHN: hehe, don't worry, i like you!

FEFERI: M-E too!

NEPETA: :33 *ac also likes kailie*

JANE: yes, i reckon you are pretty fun!

JAE: same! :D!

DIRK: You guys don't count.

DAVE: you like everyone

KAILIE: just get to the fucking swag off.

EQUIUS: D- I would like you better if you did not swear so much.

KAILIE: swag off!

_And so Dave and Sollux have the most awesome swag off in the history of swag offs. Eventually though it is agreed that Dave is the winner. _

KAILIE: that was the longest, most awesome swag off ever.

TEREZI: BUT, 4S W3 4LL KN3W, TH3 COOL K1DS THE W1NN3R!

JOHN: wow

JADE: yay dave!

DAVE: your pretty awesome dude, holding your own in a swag off with a strider, you got my respect.

SOLLUX: ii mu2t admiit you are pretty damn your2elf, you've got my re2pect for 2ure.

_They fist bump._

KAILIE: okay, that was awesome, next up. Roxy, how the fuck do you keep getting alcohol?

ROXY: tht my ruth?

ROXY: *truh

ROXY: *truth

KAILIE: nop, i was just wondering.

ROXY: you nor lked tat dor

_She points to the room where the alchemizer is._

KAILIE: ohhhhhhh

_Kailie goes over and locks the door before going off and destroying all bottles of alcohol in the house_.

ROXY: wht teh fuk ar yu ding?!

ROXY: *fuck

ROXY: *doing

KAILIE: you can't have any alcohol till the end of next chapter. I don't wanna be you in the morning.

ROXY: nonobnonfonodnoonnonononfdnb odfbnonononon[onononon[nono

KAILIE: sorry.

KAILIE: oh, I'm gonna need everyone for this!

KAILIE: lets bet on who'll win the prank off!

JADE: i vote john!

DAVE: gotta vote for my best bro.

JOHN: me!

KAILIE: john, you don't get to vote.

JOHN: awww

DIRK: Got to say Jane.

ROXY: janeeeeeey

ROSE: It is hard to say, but I believe John.

KANAYA: I Wil Have To Say John.

ERIDAN: i dont fuckin' get this prankin' shit

ARADIA: i d0n't really kn0w

FEFERI: Bot)( of th-Em 38D

SOLLUX: ii dont thiink iit work2 that way

NEPETA: :33 *ac doesn't want to say incase she hurts one of her furriends feelings*

EQUIUS: D- I refuse to take part in this foolishness.

TEREZI: 1 AGR33 W1TH D4V3! 1 B3T ON JOHN!

TAVROS: uHHH JOHN,,, oR UHH JANE,,, i THINK

GAMZEE: I lOvE bOtH mOtHeRfUcKeRs ThE sAmE i CaNt JuSt PiCk OnE mOtHeRfUcKeR

KAILIE: i won't vote because I'm judging! I'll go ask the others.

_7 minutes later_

KAILIE: back!

DAVE: that took a while

KAILIE: hehehe i know

KAILIE: Vriska voted for John, Karkat said John after almost saying it was all stupid and Jake voted for Jane!

_Jane's face goes a little red._

KAILIE: geez john is popular, where is he?

DAVE: already outside, ready to do the windy thing.

KAILIE: ...fucking hell dave!

_They walk outside and are covered in water. The expect to hear laughing but no one hears anything. They spot John and it loos like he may have slipped on water and hit the ground hard. He appears passed out. Everyone thinks its a prank until Dave loses his cool and runs to John, which is when everyone appears by his side looking worried. A few minutes later John opens his eyes and himself and Dave start laughing. They get quite a few glares and dark looks but don't seem to notice._

KAILIE: ...

KAILIE: i guess this makes the score 2 - 1

JOHN: hehe! you should have seen your faces!

KAILIE: just do the windy thing.

_After quite a bit more giggles John does just that. Its quite amazing really._

KAILIE: okay, finally down to the last one.

KAILIE: Dirk, you may not swear.

DIRK: Well, that'll be easy.

KAILIE: yep, now have a rap off with Dave.

DIRK: ...Are you serious?

DAVE: scared you'll lose?

DIRK: Never.

_They have a rap battle and somehow Dirk still manages to win, making everyone laugh their heads off and making Dave pissed._

_**You realize you just wasted quite a while reading this when you could have been doing something a lot better with your time. But oh well. Kailie wants to remind you to send more truths and dares but the chapter has already been too long so she is cut off.**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**You are once more looking into the the LoTaD only right now its night time. Its a full moon. You don't think its meant to, but than you remember that the details of everything for this world is all the controlled by a certain human who sits on the roof starring at the sky. She seems content like that for a little while longer before sneaking back downstairs to the second story. There is a very big room that she walks into. They are having a movie night. The room was picked because it is the biggest in the house and is pretty much a theater room. Everyone is mingling and theres music that a few people are dancing to. Karkat, Vriska and Jake were freed from there movie rooms after the seventh time Con Air played so that they could all come down. It turned out Jake couldn't find a movie he disliked.**_

**_Kailie waves as she walks in, glad to find that Dave was not reading her new dares. She walks over with quite a 20 pizzas and_**** soda.**

KAILIE: hey guys! you have Tickles to thank for the food, but we can't touch it until we go though her dares.

DAVE: seems fair.

**From Tickles:**

**Hellooo guys! I just wanted to squeeze in a greeting before i  
overwhelm you with my craziness! Well, first, i want Dave to sit his scrawny  
** on Johns lap, but he has to be faceing john. Secondly, i wanted to make  
sure that everyone is comfy, yeah? I will casually leave these 20 pizzas and  
sodas over here, so like... feel free i geuss... but dave has to stay on  
egberts lap. You are metaphorically glued, bro :) have fun**

KAILIE: hehehe, I think your gonna like this one Dave.

DAVE: really? what is?

KAILIE: sit on John's lap! But the rule is you have to be facing John and you stay on Johns lap, not allowed to hop off for the rest of the night, got it?

JOHN: w-what?!

JANE: (hehehe)

ROXY: (what yu done girl?)

JANE: (you'll see!)

DAVE: *shrugs* sure, whatever.

JOHN: what? you just gonna do it, no questions?

KAILIE: told you he'd like it the dare.

_Dave sits on John's lap, knees on either side of the other. John's face is dusted red and there seems to be a few jealous noises coming from some of the others._

KAILIE: you have to stay like that for the rest of the night!

DAVE: i'm cool with that, *leans in and talks into John's ear, smirking.* what about you egbert?

JOHN: dave! *blushes and tries to push Dave away with force. He should have fallen off but it seemed he was stuck with glue...*

DAVE: ...was there glue involved in this?

KAILIE: not real glue, no idea why your glues to him

ROXY: is that wht you did janey?

JANE: hohohoho

JOHN: jane!

KAILIE: I guess this means that its now 2 all... and Dave is stuck to John.

KAILIE: which was your dare anyway, so i guess that works out? Okay, there is a soda and a pizza for everyone...

KAILIE: but me i guess because theres only 20... um... oh well, i'm going to get some popcorn then return to do the next set of dares!

KAILIE: we got another HUGE one from curiouskat88 but imma gonna skip it for now and get back to it later! sorry!

_Kailie walks off for a little while and returns with a huge ass amount of popcorn, more than enough for everyone, a slice of apple pie, a spoor pie and a drink._

KARKAT: WHY THE FUCK DID YOU GET A FUCKNG PIE?

KAILIE: apple pie is the shit dude, dont dis the pie.

KANAYA: I Do Believe He Was Talking About The Other Pie

KAILIE: uhhh... well... i thought it was going to be very useful for the next dare.

**From Chibi Night Angel:**

**Gamzee: Lock him in a room with ICP music on blast for the whole chapter  
Tavros: Smack Vriska and call her a spider biitch .  
Terezi: Sloppy makeouts with Karkat  
Karkat: Pick 3 people that you hate and smack them  
Nepeta: Be serious T_T  
Equius: Be playful and smile a lot :)  
Dave: Kiss John**

KAILIE: hehe, though there is one that Dave'll like.

JOHN: ...

DAVE: hmmm?

KAILIE: okay, gamzee, you gonna have to come with me.

KAILIE: and i am so sorry for this dude.

GAMZEE: WhAt YoU mOtHeRfUcKiNg SoRrY aBoUt KaIbRo?

KAILIE: hehe, kaibro. and its your dare.

KAILIE: *sigh* come with me.

_Kailie pulls Gamzee, or drags him really he doesn't put up much of a fight, into a room that she hopes he will be unable to get out of and locks him in. There is a very large speaker as well as a few hidden ones and suddenly ICP starts playing. She runs back to the others, glad she remembered to give Gamzee the pie. Suddenly there is a loud growl and Kailie has a pretty good guess as to what it was._

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!

KAILIE: uhhh, ICP

KARKAT: WHAT!?

KAILIE: so the next dare is for-

KARKAT: I'M FUCKING TALKING TO YOU! PAY ATTENTION!

KAILIE: okay, so going from one to three then back to two. *whispers something to Terezi*

KARKAT: WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SO- MPFFF

KAILIE: so the third dare was for Karezi sloppy make-outs!

_Karkat soon stops struggling to speak, getting over his shock of Terezi kissing him and kisses back, its very sloppy probably because Terezi is trying to lick Karkat's tongue and finally getting to taste Red that she hasn't been allowed._

KAILIE: okay, thats good, stop now terezi, your still not meant to have red.

KARKAT: WHAT THE HOLFY FUCK?!

KAILIE: okay, back to dare number 2, Tavros slap Vriska.

VRISKA: What?!

TAVROS: uHHH I DONT THINK THATS SUCH A,,,, uHH GOOD IDEA

KAILIE: its a dare, slap her and call her Spider bitch

VRISKA: Sprider 8itch?!

KAILIE: yep, go, now.

TAVROS: uHHH,,, uMMM,,,

_Hesitantly Tavros goes over to Vriska and slaps her weakly._

TAVROS: uHHH,,, sPIDER BITCH!

KAILIE: hehe! damn right tell her Tavros!

TEREZI: Y34H! T3LL TH3 SP1D3R B1TCH!

VRISKA: Hmpf!

KAILIE: now, to stop a fight lets go to the next dare.

KAILIE: Karkat, pick three people you hate.

KARKAT: EVERYONE

KAILIE: just pick three!

KARKAT: FINE THEN.

KARKAT: AMPORA, FOR THAT FUCKING BULLSHIT YOU PULLED EARLIER *glare*

ERIDAN: *gulp*

KARKAT: VRISKA FOR MAKING ME SIT THOUGH ALL THOSE FUCKING MOVIES AND SIDE COMMENTS AND BULLSHIT.

KARKAT: AND STRIDER.

DAVE: what, i'm not good enough to give a reason. *smirk*

KARKAT: NO, YOUR NOT, FUCK YOU ASSHOLE.

KAILIE: okay, now slap them.

KARKAT: GLADLY.

_Karkat slaps Eridan so hard you swear you can hear him though the computer, next comes Vriska and then Dave and Karkat smirks happily afterwards. That's pretty worrying_.

_KAILIE: okay! now the next one!_

KAILIE: or next to dares really, guess what nepeta! You have a dare!

NEPETA: :33 *ac can't wait to hear what she has been dared!*

KAILIE: well, basically, you and Equius have to swap personalities.

KAILIE: Equius has to be playful and smile a lot and Nepeta you have to be serious!

NEPETA: :33 *ac will try her hardest!*

NEPETA: :33 oh! i mean that seems really ridiculous and not serious!

EQUIUS: D- I refuse to do this

KAILIE: than I will place you in the same room as Gamzee.

_There is a crash from said room._

EQUIUS: D- ...

_Equius tries to smile making a lot of people in the room to crack up, Nepeta tries her hardest not to smile or laugh._

DAVE: are we up to the one i'll like? *smirk*

KAILIE: ... i have to get better at hiding my screen.

DAVE: yep, you really do.

_With that Dave brings his lips to meet Johns in a deep kiss. The blue eyed boy's eyes widen and he gasped into the kiss. Dave doesn't break the kiss for a good 20 seconds. When he does John's glasses are slightly lop sided and his lips parts, blue eyes widened. His cheeks were flushed red. Dave smirked at him, though his cheeks were also the lightest bit red._

KAILIE: and thats the end of our dares!

KAILIE: they were next to each other and it was so perfect

KAILIE: for that, i hug you both! You guys are fucking awesome!

DAVE: i guess you do get a pizza and soda after all, being Gamzee was short of kicked out of the movie night.

KAILIE: yay!

TEREZI: WHY 4M 1 H3R3 TO W4TCH 4 MOV13?

KAILIE: to get away with smelling red probably

VRISKA: Pro8a8ly.

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE WATCHING ANYWAY?!

KAILIE: mulan 2~!

DIRK: Why?

KAILIE: to celebrate you guys surviving your first round of truth or dare!

_There was another crash_.

KAILIE: ...at least for now that is.

_**With that she starts the movie, muttering something about getting more truths and dares please but she is two glad to watch the movie, it seems everyone else is to so you leave them. GOing back to whatever you were doing before.**_

_****_**(I actually just finished watching that movie XD)**


	4. Chapter 4

**_This time you arrive at the lake. The house is in the distance as are the mountains and trees. Kailie sits on the shore reading though her new reviews on her computer in a blue-grey bikini. She has a very large, very full bag. Rose sits in a lavender bikini reading fan-fictions. Karkat is fuming in a pair of grey board shorts. He refused to get back in the water after Dave pushed him in. Equius, Nepeta and Terezi are playing in the shallows and everyone else is_****_swimming._**

KAILIE: okay everyone~

KAILIE: time for some more truths and dares! We're a little late so quickly already please!

_There are some grunts and groans but everyone does as they are told and comes over._

**From ThePerson:**

**Dares:  
Dave cross-dress and stay like that for a whole day.  
Eridan dress in a fish suit and do the Macarena.  
Author keep writing.  
O3O hope you like my dares :)**

KAILIE: yes, yes i do like your dares.

* * *

**From Guests:**

**:Dave: Cross-dress for 1 chapter!  
Eridan dress in a fish suit and do the Macarena  
Karkat: you shall listen to and sing the worst song the author knows.  
Tavros and nepeta: be mean for a chapter :)  
Author: force your favorite ships to happen and keep writing :)**

KAILIE: hehehe, i love you

* * *

**From wazup11:**

**Equius you are now a hoof beast.  
John are you really not a **. **(homo? is this meant to be homosexual? I'm going with that) **  
Dave no more talking talking to John fo the rest of the chaptor.  
Everyone *snicker* read a smutty fanfiction about themselves and they have to read THE WHOLE THING!  
*rules on the floor laughing***

KAILIE: oh my god *hugs tightly* you are so perfect.

KAILIE: love these dares!

* * *

**From ThePerson:******

Dave pick someone to have sloppy Makeouts with  
Jake drink as much achohol as Roxy does every normal for 3 chapters  
Sollux eat sopor slime  
John act like anyone besides you for a chapter  
Extra note- DAVE STOP STEALING HER COMPUTER

KAILIE: we have LOTS of dares to get through, so lets get started!

KAILIE: the first ones are actually really popular apparently, we have two of the exact same dares.

KAILIE: so, Kanaya do you have those suits i ask you for?

KANAYA: Yes I Do. Here You Go Kailie.

KAILIE: yay! thank you!

ERIDAN: wwhat the fuck are those?

KAILIE: your fish suit and Dave's dress.

DAVE: *raises eyebrow* excuse me, what?

ERIDAN: i am not wwearin' that.

KAILIE: you are, its your dares.

ERIDAN: dont fuckin' care. not doin' that shit.

KAILIE: than you can't do next chapters dare from Karezi.

ERIDAN: good.

KAILIE: you dont know what it is.

ERIDAN: and i don't fuckin' care.

_Kailie whispers something into the Eridan's ear and he takes the fish suit and goes to get dressed._

DAVE: yeah, i thought that might happen.

DAVE: he'd love that dare.

KAILIE: stop touching my computer!

KAILIE: actually! thats your dare too. You HAVE to stop fucking touching it.

KAILIE: and get changed into that dress.

_Dave shrugs and goes off to get changed._

KAILIE: okay, in the meantime lets get on to the next dare.

KAILIE: oh yay! it's one for me

KAILIE: and don't worry guys! I will keep writing!

KAILIE: i would have updated earlier but my mums a bitch so I wasn't allowed on my laptop

KAILIE: the next ones a little bit harder.

ROSE: Why? It seems pretty easy.

KAILIE: yeah but- HEY! STOP READING THE DARES!

KAILIE: besides i don't the any-

_A dark aura seems to come from the author and she glares at the air in front of her._

NEPETA: :33 *ac is worried about the dark aura that appears from her furriend*

EQUIUS: D- Nepeta, as your moirail i advice you not to get close.

JADE: is she okay?

ROSE: I would assume you thought of the song that Karkat's going to sing.

KARKAT: WHAT?! NO! I'M NOT FUCKING SINGING!

TEREZI: YOU H4V3 TO K4RKL3S! B3S1D3S YOU H4V3 4 GOOD VO1C3!

KARKAT: NO!

KAILIE: if i have to search up this stupid fucking song your singing it. Deal with it.

_The dark tone of the girls voice shuts even Karkat up. He takes the head phones that are thrown at him and begins listening to the song. Luckily for everyone else Dave and Eridan arrive at that moment. Dave is in a red dress with his broken record on it at the back while Eridan is dressed up as a fish and glaring at nothing in particular. This manages to make the author laugh and the dark aura vanishes. ALmost everyone makes a mental note not to piss Kailie off._

ERIDAN: this is fuckin' stupid.

KAILIE: yep, now do the Macarena. Dave you just have to be dressed like that for the rest of the chapter.

DAVE: sure.

ERIDAN: i am not fuckin' doin' that!

KAILIE: than no dare next chapter.

_Eridan grumbles but starts dancing anyway. Everyone else loves there ass off. Jade joins him, then Kailie and Nepeta, then Feferi and soon everyone but Dave, Dirk and Karkat are dancing as well._

JAKE: Come on strider! Join us, have some fun!

ROXY: yeeeah dirt, go on and dace net to jakey *wonk*

ROXY: *dirk

_Jane looks a little annoyed but Dirk joins anyway. Dave joins as well and everyone but Karkat, who is listening to the authors currently most hated song, and you can't help but feel sorry for him. Everyone keeps doing the Macarena for a few minutes until Karkat throws the headphones down in_ _disgust._

KARKAT: THIS SONG IS FUCKING DISGUSTING!

KAILIE: yes, yes it is. Now you sing it while i distract myself with getting ready for another dare and blasting good music into my ears.

KARKAT: I AM NOT FUCKING SING THAT SHIT!

KAILIE: i'll give you a romcom.

KARKAT: ...

_Kailie distracts herself while Karkat starts singing 'On Top' by Johnny Ruffo. After was everyone else seems to be awe by the fact Karkat can actually sing really well. _

DAVE: what a shitty song.

JOHN: i thought it wasn't that bad.

KAILIE: john, you have no fucking taste in music. Now to one of my favorite dares so far. This is of everyone.

NEPETA: :33 *ac excitedly purrders as to what the dare is.*

KAILIE: lots of sloppy make-outs. hehehe

_A lot of people look confused. _

KAILIE: guest, i love you.

KAILIE: the pairings are Karkat and John.

_Karkat looks surprised and John's face goes red._

KAILIE: dave and jade.

_A light blush dusts Jade's cheeks._

KAILIE: dirk and jake.

_Dirk can't hide a small smile, and Jake doesn't seem upset about it._

KAILIE: sollux and Eridan.

_Both boys faces go yellow or purple with their blood colors._

KAILIE: vriska and Terezi.

_Both girls look surprise._

KAILIE: roxy and Jane

_Jane's face goes red for this one._

KAILIE: equius and Nepeta

_Equius' face goes blu and Nepeta's green._

KAILIE: feferi and aradia

_Both girl's faces go a similar color._

KAILIE: rose and kanaya

_That surprised no one._

KAILIE: and last but not least gamzee and tavros.

_Only Tavros blushed at that, everyone else didn't seem surprise._

KARKAT: WHY THE FUCK DO WE HAVE TO?

KAILIE: because~ its my dare.

DAVE: how does that work?

KAILIE: my dare is to force my fav ships on you guys :)

KAILIE: those are my fav ships with everyone.

TEREZI: S3R1OUSLY?

KARKAT: WHAT?

KAILIE: yep! now everyone kiss, in backwards order for the names!

SOLLUX: why the fuck do ii have two kii22 fii2hface when he2 iin a fuckiing fii2h2uit?

ERIDAN: so you'd kiss me if i wwasn't in the fish suit? *smirk*

SOLLUX: *blush* what?! no! fuck you!

ERIDAN: the dares only a kiss sol

SOLLUX: 2hut up a22hole!

ERIDAN: make me lowwblood

KAILIE: you guys are kissing first. Kiss.

_Sollux's face was yellow but he leaned kissed Eridan anyway, it was a long deep kiss and earned claps from Feferi, Nepeta, Jade and Kailie. After they were done both were blushing madly and they moved away from each other._

KAILIE: that was so cute! Now Karkat, John, kiss.

KARKAT: WHAT? NO! FUCK YOU!

DAVE: what? don't you want to kiss john? he's a pretty good kisser *smirk*

KARKAT: FUCK OFF I DIDN'T SAY THAT!

JOHN: than you want to kiss me?

KARKAT: *blush*

KAILIE: *snicker* he's cornered himself

DAVE: pfft yep.

JADE: just kiss john already!

KARKAT: FOR FUCKS SAKE, I'LL FUCKING KISS HIM, HAPPY?

JOHN: yep! *smile*

_Karkat and John meet half way as they kissed, Kailie whistled._

KAILIE: all my feels. all my johnkat feels. I'M SO HAPPY!

JADE: hehe, i don't thin their going to stop kissing anytime soon.

KAILIE: nop, so you should kiss Dave.

JADE: w-wh-

_Jade's words were cut off as DAve rolled her eyes and pressed their lips together. Jade's arms wrapped around him a second later. Kailie noticed Kanaya and Rose were already kissing._

KAILIE: next, Gamzee and Ta- oh, their already kissing.

TEREZI: Y3P, FOR 4 L1TTL3 WH1L3 NOW.

ARADIA: s0lux and eridan are als0 kissing again.

FEFERI: hehe yep! seems like everyones kissing!

VRISKA: Guess we should take our turns, Terezi?

TEREZI: *smirk* 1F W3 MUST, W3 MUST

_Aradia and Feferi kissed at the same time as Vriska and Terezi. All around Kailie people were making out. Nepeta and Equius had even started kissing by now. Everyone kissed for at least a minute. Kailie told to the remaining humans._

KAILIE: roxy, kiss jane.

ROXY: sre thig!

ROXY: *thing

_Roxy pressed her lips to those of the red faced, blue eyed girls. _

KAILIE: dirk, i dont even need to encourage you and I know it.

_Dirk smirked and he and Jake kissed. Kailie could swear that one of those mountains erupted, the water level rised and the sand city crumbled._

KAILIE: okay, next dare.

KAILIE: equius you are now a hoof-beast.

EQUIUS: D- Excuse me?

KAILIE: hoof-beasts dont talk.

EQUIUS: D- ...

_== Equius: Be the hoof-beast_

EQUIUS IS NOW THE HOOF BEAST.

KAILIE: oh! john! you have a truth!

JOHN: really? cool! what is it?

KAILIE: are you really not a homosexual?

_John is silent for a moment._

JOHN: ...

JOHN:...no n-not really.

KARKAT: WHAT?! YOU FUCKING LIED TO ME?

JOHN: kinda...

KAILIE: yay! next dare! Dave is not allowed to talk to John for the rest of the day!

DAVE: what?

KAILIE: hehe, sorry, thems the dare.

KARKAT: I FUCKING LIKE THAT DARE.

KAILIE: hehe, you'll hate the next one.

JOHN: what does he have to do?

KAILIE: everyone has to read a smutty story about themselves!

KARKAT: FUCK NO!

KAILIE: if you do it you get anything you want appearified, other wise the room stays locked.

EVERYONE: ...

_Not people appear to want to agree but do anyway. Kailie hands out the smut. She gives Nepeta a choice of herself and Karkat or herself and Equius. She picks the one with Equius secretly. Kailie gives Equius a similar choice though either Nepeta or Aradia. He takes the one about Nepeta secretly. She gives Dave a Stridercest one, or the option of one of her own stories. He takes both, saying he'd decide later. She gives Dirk and Stridercest story and Dirk/Jake story without him knowing. She gives Karkat a johnkat one. Kanaya and Rose both get ones with both of them in it. Aradia gets a Sollux/Aradia one. Feferi randomly picks from a selection and picks Feferi/Aradia. Sollux and Eridan both get Sollux/Eridan. Jade gets Dave/Jade. Terezi gets Dave/Terezi. Jane gets Jane/Jake. Jake gets Jake/Dirk. Roxy gets Roxy/Calliope. Tavros and Gamzee both get PBJ stories. She then gives John 'John loves his daddy.'_

KAILIE: read those. You have to finish them.

KAILIE: yay! I dont have to read one cause there should not been any smutty fanfics bout me!

_She goes to read something anyway as everyone finishes._ _When they do John looks horrified. Jade's face is red. Nepeta's is also covered in blush, as is Feferi's, Jane's, Jake's, Eridan's, Equius', slightly Karkat's and Kanaya's slightly. Dave asked her for some others, as does Dirk, Roxy, Rose and Karkat._

SOLLUX: ii cant believe what ii ju2t read

KAILIE: next is for Dave.

DAVE: great.

KAILIE: pick someone to have sloppy make-outs with.

DAVE: *smirk* easy.

_Dave pulls John over by the collar and into a kiss. The boy blushes darkly and Karkat fumes because Dave is, purposely, doing so right in front of him. Eventually Karkat just pulls John away._

KAILIE: karkat, you shouldn't interrupt with the dares.

KARKAT: I DONT FUCKING CARE!

KAILIE: *sigh* next.

KAILIE: how much alcohol has roxy had?

JANE: at least 3 bottles of vodka and half a bottle of wine.

KAILIE: holy shit, luckily i brought more than tha-

_Half the bottles are empty._

ROXY: sox *wonk*

_Eventually they have the exact amount of alcohol consumed._

KAILIE: jake, drink all this before every chapter for the next 3 chapters.

DIRK: Seriously?

JAKE: Now too?

KAILIE: plus now. gogogogogo.

_Jake starts drinking._

KAILIE: next, sollux have this.

_Kailie hands Sollux a cupcake._

SOLLUX: uhh, okay?

_He eats it._

KAILIE: i have seen that video to. I have seen it ;)

_The next moment Sollux is looking at his hands in the most amazing way, then he starts patting Karkat's face._

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING?!

SOLLUX: kk, kk, have you, have you 2een the2e thing2 before?

KARKAT: SEEN WHAT DUMBFUCK?!

SOLLUX: oh, oh 2hiit, where'd they go?

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!

SOLLUX: here they are, there were on you face.

SOLLUX: kk, did you 2teal my hand2 kk?

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK?!

KAILIE: pfft, as funny as this is, next up. John you can't act as yourself next chapter.

JOHN: okay? that sounds easy.

KAILIE: sure it does.

KAILIE: That was the last one guys!

_Pretty much everyone cheers._

KAILIE: bye~! Sorry for the late post, i was busy as fuck on the weekend!

KAILIE: i have some really good dares to get though!

KAILIE: ...and really long ones.

KAILIE: so the next few chapters will only have one dare in them ^u^

ERIDAN: wwho the fuck are you evven talkin' to?

KAILIE: them *motions to readers*

DAVE: i cant see anyone

ROSE: It does appear this is no one there.

KAILIE: *eyeroll* your all just not seeing that people _WILL_ be there.

KAILIE: when they read the chapter!

SOLLUX: ...2hiit

KAILIE: you guys seriously thought i wasn't posting these online?

TEREZI: W3 W3R3 K1ND4 HOP31NG

ARADIA: yes, we have d0ne s0me pretty embarrassing stuff

KAILIE: because these people have dared you to.

KAILIE: fair is fair they should know what you ended up doing.

KARKAT: THATS FUCKING STUPID.

KAILIE: you think every things fucking stupid.

TEREZI: SH3 H4S 4 PO1NT K4RKL3S

KARKAT: FUCK YOU BOTH!

KAILIE: *smirk* save that for John

JOHN: *blush* what?!

KARKAT: *blushing and speechless for once*

VRISKA: You managed to make him speechless.

DAVE: thats impressive.

KAILIE: thank you, thank you *bows*

KAILIE: now i really have to end the chapter.

KAILIE: again, sorry for the long wait!

KAILIE: i'll try to update more often!

KAILIE: say bye everyone!

DAVE: ...seriously?

VRISKA: 8ye! :::;)

TEREZI: 1 TH1NK YOU BROK3 K4RL3S

TEREZI: BY3

SOLLUX: later

ERIDAN: this is fuckin' stupid

KAILIE: yep!

FEFERI: bye everyfish!

KARKAT: ...

KAILIE: actually i think Rezi's right, i may have broken him.

KAILIE: probably the wrong thing to bring up, being what he just finished reading.

KAILIE: hehehehe

KAILIE: okay, out of time. Later all!

**_You get out of there as fast as you can before more conversion can hold you to stay._**

**(dress: www. /images/Red_ruffle_sweetheart_knee_length_hot_prom. jpg)**


End file.
